To answer this question, you need to understand what attracts us towards a person, regardless of whether it concerns intimate or friendly relationships. Common emotions are the key that binds us together. These emotions are connected to programs that subconsciously control us in life. To make it simple – you carry within yourself certain emotions that are like weeds on the beds of your inner garden. A person close to you has a similarly overgrown bed, and when you talk about what is growing on it, you proverbially water these weeds.
Perhaps a different picture will resonate with you better – a shared emotion is like a ping pong ball and you and your partner bounce it to each other. The problem arises when you notice that this game is already boring and you stop playing. Then the partner who will not recognize when the emotion takes control over him/her will do everything to encourage you to catch the pong paddle and bounce the ball again – read it will provoke you to old behaviors that will strengthen shared emotions hooked into common programs. Our bodies can be addicted to nicotine or drugs. That is why the beginnings of conscious work are usually met with the resistance of our loved ones (it is an emotion that protests in them), provocation, sabotage (please take a pong paddle and come back to the game because I have no one to play with). In this whole situation, YOU are the most important. Focus on mowing your garden patch. All relationships in your life will either enter a different level, where the partner will finally understand what you played and put down the pong paddle, or he/she will remain in the old position finding a new player.
Some tips in the transformation process:
- The only garden you can dig is your own.
- The only way to inspire others is to be an example, so don’t convince yourself, do your part and let others decide. Planted flowers speak for themselves.
- Before you do something, ask if this deed, this emotion feeds the flowers of my garden, or is it watering old weeds?
- Before you get provoked, do you want to take the pong paddle in your hand and bounce the same ball again?
- Don’t put blame -it takes two to play
- You don’t have to wonder if a given relationship will survive and make sense, if you enter the next level of the game the board will change by itself. New can be old after transformation or just new.